{"id":1260,"date":"2013-06-11T23:07:11","date_gmt":"2013-06-11T23:07:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/duenos.net\/?p=1260"},"modified":"2013-06-11T23:07:11","modified_gmt":"2013-06-11T23:07:11","slug":"jeff-goes-shopping-for-clothes-at-the-mall","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jeffginger.com\/blog\/jeff-goes-shopping-for-clothes-at-the-mall\/","title":{"rendered":"Jeff Goes Shopping for Clothes at the Mall"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/whyatt.com.au\/\" target=\"_blank\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-1261\" title=\"saupload_online_shopping_cartoon\" alt=\"\" src=\"http:\/\/duenos.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/06\/saupload_online_shopping_cartoon.jpg\" width=\"386\" height=\"338\" srcset=\"https:\/\/jeffginger.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/06\/saupload_online_shopping_cartoon.jpg 386w, https:\/\/jeffginger.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/06\/saupload_online_shopping_cartoon-300x263.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 386px) 100vw, 386px\" \/><\/a><br \/>\nA step-by-step:<br \/>\n1)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Try to determine if trendy clothing store is not just for women<br \/>\n2)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Attempt to find men\u2019s section (the one floor or back corner)<br \/>\n3)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Get harassed by store person who unleashes a fury of trendy fashion words like triple bootcutcuff and tapercraftseams<br \/>\n4)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Claim \u201cjust browsing\u201d defense and scamper away to seek style of clothing that has been out of fashion for 2 to 5 years<br \/>\n5)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Give up, go to Sears or JC Penny<br \/>\n6)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Easily find preferred clothing style, but only in sizes for giant people<br \/>\n7)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Wonder why clearance rack is only XXL sizes<br \/>\n8)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Find potential item worthy of purchase, ask phone for an estimate on the number of slave children required to make it<br \/>\n9)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Travel to thrift shop to be ethical, find only tattered clothing for huge old people<br \/>\n10)\u00a0\u00a0 Give up and buy exact copies of current clothes on Ebay<br \/>\n&nbsp;<br \/>\nJeff Goes Shopping for Clothes at the Mall <em>with Gulsim<\/em> (circa 2011)<em><br \/>\n<\/em><br \/>\n1)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Complain unnecessarily about consumerism and materialistic culture<br \/>\n2)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Be shut up by being told that he too can be attractive (girls don\u2019t say this to Jeff, generally)<br \/>\n3)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Gulsim finds clothing that is inexpensive and not made for extreme hipsters or fat people<br \/>\n4)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Go home happy!<br \/>\nI am still resolved to open a store called \u201cMen: Skinny and Average\u201d for dudes with wastelines under 34 inches, sizes M, S, and XM and clothing that comes in types such as \u2018long\u2019 and \u2018thin\u2019 and \u2018extra pockets.\u2019<br \/>\nPerhaps I should just shop in the children\u2019s section more often. Because, you know, 5\u201911 at 150 lbs is child size?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A step-by-step: 1)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Try to determine if trendy clothing store is not just for women 2)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Attempt to find men\u2019s section (the one floor or back corner) 3)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Get harassed by store person who unleashes a fury of trendy fashion words like triple bootcutcuff and tapercraftseams 4)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Claim \u201cjust browsing\u201d defense and scamper away to [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[73,160,193,325,327],"class_list":["post-1260","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-jeff-gets-personal","tag-clothes","tag-gender-roles","tag-internet","tag-shopping","tag-shutup-jeff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jeffginger.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1260","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jeffginger.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jeffginger.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jeffginger.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jeffginger.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1260"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/jeffginger.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1260\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jeffginger.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1260"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jeffginger.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1260"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jeffginger.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1260"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}