I know my professional blog has been quiet for a couple of months now – I spent much of the summer working on my porfolio and reading. I’ve suddenly been thrusted head over heels into my second year of graduate school. I’m teaching two new classes – an introduction to Sociology (soc 100) and Social Perspectives on the Family (soc 273) – but these feel like a natural part of life now, while I’m still in love with teaching I have plenty of confidence I can do it well. No, what scares me more is this whole independent study Masters paper thing. Most of the normal Sociology PhD’s here just write a paper that counts for their masters somewhere along their track to the higher degree but because of my transfer I need to finish it ASAP to begin my work in LIS. So I lined up an independent study and flushed out an outline to finish one paper, start two others, read oodles of sources, collect interview and focus group data, contact everyone around campus who has anything to do with what I do, and otherwise lose my mind. It’s terrifying.
At this point I have no idea if I’ve bit off more than I can chew. Being busy out of my mind is a normal state of affairs for me but this time the pressure is ten fold as high because I’m doing something I’m not so sure about and am very new to. I still don’t even know who all of my readers are because there are a whole two people directly related to what I do in Sociology.
In many ways I’m excited and enthusiastic – I have faith in my own abilities and motivation and have no fears about my interest in the subject. I know plenty of people who could help me out and have a plethora of resources among students and programs in the University. But at the end of the semester I’m going to be handing a paper to three individuals who’ve been trained for years in academe to be intensely critical and who have only a few minor connections to my area of study. It’s already a battle explaining to older professors the relevance of Facebook, it’s going to be an even bigger battle explaining it to professors who aren’t interested in technology.
But that’s okay. This is what I signed on for when I chose to go to grad school, and dealing with criticism, like it or not, is essential in an academe infiltrated by argument disguised as dialectic. I’m here to learn, I’m as smart and capable as I am, and only know what my experiences have taught me. Here goes nothing…